Updated: Oct 4, 2018
Hey Anii Gang,
So I know spirituality is always a hard concept to get into, so I just ask to keep your mind open and your Eye open.
As a child I was born into a household that knew GOD but was also non- denominational. Meaning; We believed in GOD and Jesus, we just didn't have a religion. My mom taught us that we were able to know GOD without going to church, "GOD is everywhere" she would say.
As I grew up I endured so many encounters within religion and spirituality. Not to mention my mom is also a teacher (whose favorite subject to teach is history). From a early age I was learning about Christianity, Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism, Judaism, and the list goes on and on. My mind was filled with knowledge about all these different religions from such a young age.
In my Adolescent years, I started going to church more with friends and family. I started reading the bible like a book and watching christian movies. I immediately got "saved" because I was so tuned in with the pastors speech about cleaning myself of sin. Most of you that go to church know's that the speech goes a little something like this...
"If there is anyone who is ready to give their life to christ and clear their mind, body, and spirit of all sin please step up to the alter, you are not alone on this journey we are with you, GOD, and the savior Jesus christ are with you."
From that point, I vowed to stop cursing for a year, I was trying to be my sweetest self and on my best behavior. For a while I kept going to different churches and experiencing "Religion." But of course, like any christian you still do things not of the "christian faith." So this is when savior and praying for forgiveness became more like a reset button for me. On and off I went from non- denominational, back to being a "born again" christian.
For some reason I always felt so unfulfilled and I just couldn't understand why? In 2015 I experienced one of the worst years of my life that lead to a path of looking within myself. I was constantly praying to GOD for help. I had multiple reoccurring thoughts of suicide and self harm. I was in a deep depression that lasted for too long of a time and I didn't know how to get out. I was reading the bible more, however, the depression was still there. 2015 was also the year I big chopped my hair after a 11 month transition. This was a very transformative time for me as well.
In 2016, I went to the navy as an escape from it all. Yeah the benefits were a plus and I felt I could change the world but the escape from my reality was essentially a huge part for me. In bootcamp I became a religious petty officer, therefore, I was in charge of all things religious. If people needed certain time for prayer, needed to go to church, needed to talk to a chaplain, get a bible or whatever I was there to the rescue. This was so fulfilling for me, it was exactly what I needed to heal myself.
I graduated from bootcamp and my journey in the navy continued. I learned that 2016 was the year that I would practice self love. I realized there was so much drama in my life and so much depression because I wasn't loving myself. I had to dig deep and figure all this out. I learned how to accept all my flaws, how to go without wearing make up, how to just be myself and let go.
This realization in 2016 spiraled into my spirituality quest in 2017. I figured now that I loved myself, it was the perfect time to grasp the concept of truly loving and understanding GOD. I started researching every religion, spirit science, people's spiritual experiences and etc. This is when I learned that religion doesn't mean spiritual. Spirituality is the connection you have with the divine, with the universe, with GOD.
I learned that religion was created and constructed by society. Looking through historical text and analyzing the past I learned how corrupt a lot of churches and temples were and still are . I learned how some religious organizations were ran by officials that were not for the spirit the religion claimed. I learned the truth about where some "tides and contributions" were going. Not to say all religions are bad or corrupt, I would never put that type of stigma out there. All I'm saying is that not all religious teaching and traditions hold to the spiritual value of love, peace, happiness and divine like it was intended to be.
My whole life changed from that point on. I had to share what I learned with everyone I encountered. I began to challenge those who claimed to be religious and see if they were truly spiritual. I learned that you can have both but one does not mean the other.
My connection with GOD was and is just that MY CONNECTION.
Now if you want to see how my spiritual quest lead me to GOD, Buddhism, and holistically living that's a whole other post ;)