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In the abyss of lostness

Updated: Jun 2, 2020

Photo rights: Anii Cooper

Everyday we get up and look in the mirror as we get ready whether it’s washing our face, doing our hair, brushing our teeth or some other simplistic task in order to get ready for the day. No matter how many times we do this in a week, with that mirror plastered on the wall in front of us, we have yet to TRULY look at ourselves. Later on, we get to a point in our lives where we ask ourselves “Who am I?” All while having no proper response, while feeling a darkness or despair as if we failed some type of life contest. 

How am I supposed to know?

I am myself. I live, breathe, and eat within myself!

I feed on my flesh that I’m living in, as my spirit lingers in the shadows of question. My light, feeling dim as I try to dig my way out of this long hollow tunnel. 

We then yell out “Can someone find me! Please find me!”

These are things that play in our heads when we live in the abyss of lostness. 

We think we are here yet we are over there living somewhere else in our heads that we have no explanation for. We smile, we walk, we wave yet there is nothingness inside. I call it floating. We are floating on by in life just being there. At that point we are not TRULY living and enjoying this thing we called life.

I know this may sound very depressing but it’s not it’s just what happens when you feel lost. Whether it’s lost passion, creativity, or sense of purpose. However, it happens to the best of us. I think this is a blessing yet a curse...

Normally I have some grand scheme or a list of tips on how to stop feeling this way but as I sit here writing this I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s inevitable. We are constantly growing and evolving within ourselves and within our lives. Which means that feeling of lostness will continuously come and go. No amount of sage or crystals will help us to stop thinking about who we are and what we have to offer in this world. Yes it may help us dig deeper but then 5-10 years later we will probably go through another transformative period.

We can say we know who we are until some big change happens and then we are clueless again! The transformative journey is eternal and that’s where we have to find the pleasure. As divine beings we have to figure out what we love and what makes us happy. This love and happiness will help us get through. This love and happiness will help us to feel like we aren’t lost even when we are in this thing called life.

Find it and you’ll find you!

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